All These Roadworks introduction: The following text is Chapter 2 (“The Salon”) of the new Tori Hamlin book The Game (link). In the book, a dark hair alt-goth teen named Kiki has started playing an online choose-your-own-adventure game where she’s represented by a pink-princess version of herself called Lucille. Despite the game’s misogynistic themes, she’s determined to win the tickets it’s offering to see her favourite band. Chapter 1 ended with her choosing to download a “Sleep Sounds” app to play while she slept in order to earn more chances to win.
If you like what you read, make sure to grab the complete novel The Game by Tori Hamlin in the ATR store for only $9.99 USD! (Click here to view.)
===
The Salon
Kiki didn’t set an alarm. She didn’t have a reason to. Being nineteen, now out of high school, and with summer break ahead, her only plans consisted of having no plans.
There was, however, something different about the night. She’d slept well. Really well. Better than she could remember. In fact, it took an effort of will to open her eyes and groan.
“Fuckin’… sleep,” she mumbled, fumbling on the nightstand for her phone.
The sounds from the Sleep Sounds app still played from the speakers. For a few more minutes, she simply cradled the phone in her hands and listened to them, staring at the ceiling with a sleep fog in her head that wouldn’t seem to dissipate. On the screen, the pink, pulsing waves danced.
Abruptly, the app chimed, the sounds cutting off. Kiki dropped the phone in surprise, cursing as it fell on her face with a hard smack. Rubbing her nose, she picked it up.
“Time elapsed,” the screen read, with a blinking timer showing a solid eight hours. She hadn’t slept a full eight hours in… probably never. Those fuckers weren’t kidding.
There was, however, another chime. She checked her messages. The first was new, from an unknown number.
“Congratulations on your first entry! Keep using the Sleep Sounds app each night for more chances to win! Would you like to share the app now for another entry?”
Kiki did want another entry. She tapped the link. The screen flashed. Three quick, pink pulses. Kiki groaned.
Copying the link, she moved to Carla’s next message.
“You asleep?”
It had been sent six hours ago. Two more messages followed.
“Hello?”
“Guess you’re out. Hit me up in the morning. I couldn’t finish that story app thing. Some daily limit bullshit.”
Kiki texted back. “Just woke up. I got this Sleep Sounds app, and it put me out hard. You gotta try it. It gives you more chances to win tickets!”
She pasted the link and sent the message. Seconds later, a new message came in.
“Congratulations! You’ve received another entry! Want more chances to win great prizes? Download the Spin to Win app now and start winning immediately!”
The message contained another link. Jesus. How many apps did these people have? Still, it was more chances to win. She clicked the link, which opened the app store, and she downloaded Spin to Win.
The colorful, cartoonish splash screen featured a large wheel divided into pie slices, each with a jiggling question mark in the center. The words, “Spin to Win!” bounced happily on the screen. Kiki tapped the wheel.
As it spun, her eyes watched it go round and round, the colors blurring into one another as the wheel went faster, faster, then began to slow. The needle ticked across the virtual pegs on the pie slices, tick, tick, tick, so repetitive, so entrancing. At last, it stopped.
The pie slice twinkled, the question mark wiggling enticingly. Kiki tapped it, and a burst of colorful confetti erupted on the screen. The screen faded out, leaving only the glowing pie slice, which expanded and unfolded in a series of geometric shapes.
It revealed a golden ticket, shining brightly.
“Tap me to claim your prize!”
Kiki followed the instructions. The ticket burst into golden light, revealing her prize.
“You won a trip to the salon!” it declared.
The black background gave way to an image of the blonde girl, the avatar, with her face, clapping happily.
“Tap to confirm your appointment!”
Appointment? There was no way she was going to a salon. How dumb was that? What a shitty prize.
She moved to swipe the app away. Her finger was about to make it happen when the blonde girl’s expression changed to one of disappointment. Kiki stopped. What kind of creepy shit was that?
The words on the screen pulsed, and three quick, pink flashes lit up the screen. Well, she could click it. It didn’t mean she had to go. Besides, what if this was part of the story and she had to tap it to play the next part? The apps were clearly linked together, somehow.
She tapped the screen. The blonde girl clapped again. The screen faded, replaced by the wheel, a timer, and the words, “Spin to Win again in eight hours!”
Before she could close the app, the phone pinged again. Another message. This one contained a local address for Barbie’s Beauty Parlor.
“The fuck?” Kiki muttered.
The whole thing was weird before, but now it was too weird. The same name as the salon in the story? Coincidence or… no. Not coincidence. Tracking cookies or some shit. That was how it worked, right?
The story app was immersive enough to use her actual location to insert real places so that it felt more real. As much as she hated the corporate bullshit, she had to admit it was a clever gimmick.
The door was locked as Kiki showered, the scent of herbal shampoo hanging in the humid air. She was in the midst of running her soapy hands down her body, relishing the hot spray, when the click of the bathroom door’s lock popped. It opened.
She peeked around the curtain, aghast as Jason casually let himself in, wiping sleep from his eyes.
“What the fuck?” Kiki shouted. “Get out of here!”
Her brother grumbled, “I gotta piss! Dad hasn’t fixed the toilet downstairs yet.”
“Are you fucking serious? Get out!”
Jason, however, ignored her and lifted the toilet lid. She quickly hid behind the curtain as he sighed with relief.
“Shit, that’s good,” he said.
“Will you hurry up? Jesus!”
“What? You wanna help?”
Kiki tossed the shampoo bottle over the top of the shower in a rage, missing her target. The bottle bounced off the floor.
“Hey! You almost hit me!”
A conditioner bottle followed, also missing.
“I’m done!” Jason yelled. “Christ. Crazy bitch.”
He tucked away his cock and left.
“Lock the door!” Kiki yelled after him.
He didn’t. The incident was enough to sour the comfort and relaxation of the hot shower, and a minute later she shut it off. Wrapped in her towel, she peeked out from behind the curtain again before pulling it aside.
After locking the door, Kiki dried her hair, looking into the mirror as she did. Brushing out her hair, she thought of the appointment. Of course, she wasn’t going. It was just some marketing trick. The salon probably paid to sponsor it and get people in so that they could upsell them a bunch of bullshit.
However, it was hard not to imagine what she might look like with that blonde hair, like the avatar. She’d look stupid. Black was much better. That drew attention to the slight fade in the black dye, though. Her natural brown was starting to come back in.
As she untangled it with the brush, she couldn’t get her mind off it. Maybe it wasn’t a bad idea. She could get a free dye, get the dark black back. That wouldn’t hurt. It would save her the trouble of doing it herself. It was free, after all.
Kiki’s family was stupid. Especially Jason. Her parents were a couple of drones, the kind with shitty office jobs who were enslaved to corporate culture. Unfortunately, they were also hard to avoid.
She silently mixed a protein shake in the blender, pretending they weren’t there. Her mother reminded her of their existence, however, as Kiki poured out her shake.
“Are you going to look for a job today?” she asked.
“You can’t just lay around all summer,” her father added.
“I’m working on it,” Kiki lied.
She wasn’t working on it. Right now, she was fine with the little bit of cash she made selling anime images of popular characters to perverts online. It was steady work. She was good at it. Someday, it would get bigger.
“Your brother has a job, Lucy. It isn’t that hard,” her mother said.
Kiki sighed and grumbled, “Don’t call me that.”
Her mother rolled her eyes. Jason snickered. Her father shook his head. Kiki blushed and picked up her shake, leaving the room.
Just as she entered her bedroom, her phone chimed. Carla.
“You up?”
“Yeah.”
She answered the call that came in as she sat on the bed.
“Hey!” Carla chirped. “Dude, I was out so hard last night.”
“The Sleep Sounds app?”
“Yeah. I got your link, but I already downloaded it after I did my chapter. And then another one this morning—”
“Spin to Win,” Kiki said.
“That’s it. You got it, too?”
“Yeah. It’s… It’s a little weird, right? Am I being paranoid?”
She could imagine Carla’s shrug on the other side of the phone as she said, “Not creepy. Just marketing gimmicks.”
“I guess. Did you win anything good?”
Carla groaned. “A gift certificate for a store at the mall. Who goes to the mall anymore? Anyway, I’m not shopping there. I looked the place up, and it’s a bunch of, like, bimbo shit. I don’t think they sell anything that isn’t pink. What did you get?”
“An appointment for a salon. You know what’s weird, though, is it’s the same place that was in my story.”
“Yeah! Mine, too! I’m telling you, Ki. It’s marketing. Wait, you’re not going, are you?”
“Well, I’m due for a dye, so I figured I’d take it and get my hair done again. You wanna come?”
“Nah. I’m going with Sly to the mall.”
There followed a brief silence.
“The mall?” Kiki said. “Didn’t you just say no one goes to the mall?”
“Well, yeah, but that’s where the store is. I’m not actually shopping there! I just have to…” The last words came out in a mumble.
“What?” Kiki asked.
“Try on something,” Carla repeated.
“Try on something?”
Carla sighed. “Look, if I try on something and send a selfie, I get a bonus spin.”
“Oh,” Kiki said, and felt a brief stab of jealousy. She hadn’t been offered a bonus spin. But why should that make her jealous? She hadn’t asked for a spin in the first place.
“Anyway, we can hook up later at Link’s,” Carla said.
“Yeah. Okay. See you there.”
She hung up the phone, but before she could put it down, it chimed again. Another message.
“Hey, Lucille! You said you were interested in music! Download our YouTunes app right now for more chances to win great prizes! We’ve curated a playlist of the hottest new tunes for you to review! It’s so easy. Every song you leave a review for gets a star! Spend your stars in the merch shop on anything you want! Ready to start listening?”
The message contained a link. Kiki didn’t really want to click the link and download another app, but it was more prizes. Maybe it was stuff she could resell and make money from. That couldn’t hurt. If she did it a lot, maybe she could even convince her parents it was a job, like a work-from-home company.
She clicked the link, was directed to the App Store, and downloaded the app. When it opened, a series of bright pink and purple music notes danced across the screen while, in the background, hypnotic pink waves wiggled and pulsed. A clever mashup of pop tunes played from the speakers.
There, standing in the background with a conductor’s baton, was the blonde avatar, giggling and happy. Two buttons hovered on the screen. Merch Shop. Start Reviewing. The shop button was grayed out. She had no stars.
She tapped the button to start reviewing, and the blonde girl waved her baton, giggling stupidly as the screen transitioned to a list of grayed-out song titles. Only the first one pulsed in those happy, jiggling letters, was available. The song title was Gangbang Girl by Bratty Brit. Kiki rolled her eyes and tapped the song.
The barrage of slutty nonsense that followed made Kiki want to cover her ears until it was over. But she couldn’t. She tried. Her hands wouldn’t stay where she put them.
I’m a pretty little three-hole slut
(Slut)
I let cute boys put it up my butt.
(Butt)
In my mouth or up my cunt.
(Cunt)
I’m a pretty little three-hole slut
(Slut)
Bratty Brit’s auto-tuned crooning assaulted Kiki’s ears, making her instantly regret the download. Was any prize actually worth listening to this? She pushed the phone under the pillow and went to the computer, where she checked in on the Choose Your Own Adventure site, just to be sure she was still locked out. She was.
The music ended. When she retrieved her phone and clicked to “Review this song,” she sighed.
“Answer the question about the chorus to leave a review and claim your star!”
Kiki hadn’t listened to the chorus. The opening lines had been enough. She could guess at the answer, she supposed, but what if she got it wrong?
The blonde avatar stood in the background, tapping her foot expectantly and looking at Kiki.
“Well, what do you expect?” Kiki said. “It was a dumb song! It’s gross!”
The avatar was unmoved. Angrily, she stabbed her finger at one of the answers. The screen flared red.
“Oh, no! You got it wrong! Do you need to listen again?”
The avatar looked disappointed. Kiki’s face burned. It shouldn’t matter that the stupid blonde girl was disappointed. She wasn’t even real. Only it did matter. Why did it matter?
Kiki played the song again. She closed her eyes and gritted her teeth through the opening lines, then listened to the first verse.
You’re on your knees throating rod, and you call yourself a good girl
But when he bends you over, you’re like, I’m not that girl
Please, bitch, take that half-a-slut bullshit elsewhere
Your man wants a real three-hole slut with bimbo blonde hair!
He wants it in your cunt, and he wants it up your ass
He should give you a good slap for talking back and giving sass!
If you wanna keep your man, you better spread those pretty cheeks
Cuz there’s a real good girl who does more than get on her knees!
Kiki bit her fist with disgust and held in a scream of rage. Was that star actually worth this? Probably not. She hovered her finger over the stop button before the chorus could begin, but then she saw the avatar, glaring. She didn’t stop the song.
All my pretty girls crawl like this
(this)
All my pretty girls have big tits
(tits)
All my pretty girls take it in the butt
(butt)
All my pretty girls are three-hole sluts
(sluts)
That was it. The chorus completed. She shoved the phone back under the pillow and held the awful lyrics in her mind until the song stopped. Now she knew how to answer the question.
When the phone went silent, she pulled it out and selected Review.
“Goddammit!” she cursed.
“In the second verse, what was the final line?”
Kiki hadn’t listened to the second verse.
“Fuck you!” she shouted at the screen.
Fuck you was not one of the options. She jammed her finger at one of the choices, and the screen flared red.
“Oh, no! You got it wrong! Do you need another listen?”
The avatar giggled. Kiki blushed. Now it was personal. It was just a dumb song. She could listen to it once, get it right, and get that fucking star! She started it over and listened through again, paying closer attention in case the question changed. The second verse started.
You think you spread your legs, and it makes you a good lay?
Girl, anyone can do that shit on any given day!
If you can’t take him and all his friends in every single hole
You’re just a worthless cunt not fit for your role!
He needs an airtight bimbo, a real gangbang slut
To share with his friends, mouth, cunt, and butt!
The chorus played through again before finally coming to an end. Kiki sighed and quickly tapped to review the song.
“A real gangbang slut shares:” the question read. And Kiki looked at the responses. It was the third verse. “Her worthless cunt. Every single hole. Her butt.”
Kiki tapped the answer. Every single hole. The screen lit up with bright swirling colors. A trumpet played and confetti sprayed across the screen. The blonde avatar clapped her hands and moaned loudly. It all made Kiki blush again, and a pleasant warmth spread through her brain.
“You’re a good girl!” the avatar sang.
Kiki’s cunt felt hot, and she rubbed it a bit as her star count ticked up to one, but it was still gray. A new message appeared.
“Rate this song.”
Kiki gave it one star. The avatar didn’t look very pleased about the rating, but Kiki wasn’t going to rate it well. It was an awful song. It wasn’t even music, as far as she was concerned.
“Thanks for the rating!”
The star count turned gold. She had her first star. The merch shop button turned green.
“Want to review another song?” the app asked.
Kiki absolutely did not. Instead, she tapped on the merch shop. The quality of the prizes would determine whether she would listen to any more shitty songs.
The prizes were arranged from cheapest to most expensive, and the first tier was underwhelming. A Daft Cunt sticker for one star. Stickers for other bands and singers for the same. The second tier, for five stars, included virtual clothes for her avatar, all of which were gross.
The further she scrolled, though, the prizes did actually become valuable. Gift cards for popular websites. Tickets for various concerts, including more Daft Cunt tickets for 1,500 stars. What stopped the scrolling, though, was one of the 5,000-star prizes. Backstage passes.
“Oh, my god!” Kiki hissed.
“It looks like you’re enjoying the app!” a pop-up suddenly said. “Would you like to share it with a friend for 5 bonus stars?”
Kiki shared the app and immediately came back to look at the backstage passes again. She could meet them. She could meet the band. It meant listening to 4,994 more songs, but she could do that. That was a prize that was worth it.
Just after noon, Kiki drove to the salon address. The app, linked to her car via Bluetooth, played yet another awful song. This one was something godawful from Kelsey Cans, an annoyingly catchy number titled Bimbo Tits.
Every song on the playlist had been something like this. It was further evidence that Daft Cunt was right. The whole mainstream was a bunch of brain-dead goons. But this was the price to pay.
She imagined telling her story to the band, how she’d waded through this corporate slop for hours, just for the chance to meet them. They’d know she wasn’t a poser, that she got it. She understood the message. She’d sacrificed for the opportunity to meet them.
What would they say? Would they expect her to give up all three holes? Would—All three holes? What the fuck? She shoved the intrusive thought away and focused on the road until the terrible song was over.
Glancing down at the phone, she read the next question.
“In the chorus, what is cited as a girl’s real identity?”
“So fucking gross,” Kiki grumbled as she tapped the answer.
Her tits and her cunt.
She rated this song (like all the others) one star. The blonde avatar seemed to be in a perpetual state of disappointment at her ratings, though she still clapped each time Kiki got the right answer. More confetti exploded across the screen, and another star went into her bank.
Barbie’s Beauty Parlor looked just like it did in the story. Even the strip mall it was situated in was the same. When she walked through the doors, however, she was not greeted by the same virtual character. Instead, it was a redhead behind the counter, her expansive cleavage bulging over her neckline.
“Welcome to Barbie’s,” she said. “Do you have an appointment?”
“Um, yes. Lu… Lucille.”
The girl checked the computer and nodded. “Come on back, babe.”
She took Kiki to the salon floor and handed her off to a blonde with pink highlights and immaculate, sparkly nails.
“Hey, girl,” she said. “I’m Peaches. I’ll be taking care of you. What are you in for?”
Kiki looked at herself in the mirror as the girl slung an apron around her and fastened it.
“I guess just a dye,” Kiki said. “I got this prize package from an app, but it wasn’t really clear about what it covered.”
“Choose Your Own Adventure?” Peaches asked.
“Yeah. I guess you guys paid for some promo, huh?”
“Yeah. The boss buys ads from all kinds of places. Sec.” She checked a tablet on her table and said, “That one gives you a full dye and a nail package. If you’re gonna do the nails, you should treat yourself to a full mani-pedi. Half off with the package.”
“Yeah, I don’t really have much money. I’ll just do the package.”
Peaches shrugged, asking, “So, you want to lose that black and get something different?”
Kiki shuddered. Absolutely not.
“I just want it bl—” black. She wanted it black. Why couldn’t she say it? “Blonde.”
No! Black. Blonde? She gripped the chair arms and tried again.
“Blonde.”
“Yeah, I got it,” Peaches said. “And those nails? Check mine. Cute, right?”
Kiki shook her head, her heart racing as she tried again. “Blonde!”
“Honey, I can’t make the nails blonde,” Peaches said, giggling. “But I can do you some real hot white with pink sparkles!”
Kiki shook her head again and frowned, willing herself to get up out of the chair. This was wrong. Everything was wrong. She couldn’t make the words come out. She couldn’t stand up.
Looking into the mirror, she saw the disbelief on her own face, the panic, but Peaches seemed oblivious.
“Pink sparkles,” Kiki said and then made a choking noise.
In the back of her head, the lyrics of Pretty Pink and Blonde by Saylor Grift echoed. She couldn’t make them stop.
“Wait,” she said. “I… I don’t… I want it… blonde. Pink sparkles.”
“You got it, babe,” Peaches said.
She got to work as a tear rolled down Kiki’s cheek. Why couldn’t she say the words?
===
That’s it for this excerpt! If you want to see what happens next, make sure you buy the full novel The Game by Tori Hamlin in the ATR store for only $9.99 USD! (Click here to view in store.)
===
